Journal of Rydel Park-Anime

The Journal of Rydel Park
Written and edited by K.N.S./Nursal1060

Walking in school with a patched-up arm and a bruised chin…
Isn't it about time that gang fighting stopped for good? Innocent bystanders get hurt all the time. Sometimes you just want to stop. But, sometimes, you're like me…you just can't stop. Zeal and fighting are in your body; from your blood down to your DNA…plus, I've gone much too far to repent for my wrong…

"Rydel! RYDEL! Wait up bro! We're not racing here!"
I'm grinning like mad, "Well now we're racing! Come on Spider! You and Wolf better pick up the slack or you'll buy your own cigarettes today!" The name' Rydel Park; and don't you forget it. My two younger brothers and I are all high-schoolers. I'm the oldest, at 17 years and 2 months; Spider is second oldest at 15 years and 5 months; and lastly, Wolf is youngest at 14 years and 3 months. We all have dark brunette hair with deep green eyes. As the oldest, I'm the "bad-example"; the only one with no nickname; I'm the tallest (5 feet 11.8 inches, I wish I was 6 feet) and the tannest (caramel tanned here, but is hereditary); I made my brothers bad boys too. Spider is about 3 inches shorter than me; we called him spider after all his emo slits on his wrists (his real name is Sid), and Spiders by far the thinnest of us all. Wolf is an original; the most muscular of us all, and the only one with curly hair. He's half an inch taller than Spider because he eats like a pig; and we gave him the nickname Wolf (his real name is Wallace) because you don't EVER want to make him mad, no I'm dead serious here.
Wolf was the most lousy runner of us all, "Hey, no fair!  You only do this because you're SO much faster AND you're on the track team!" I'm bursting into laughter; it's not like this everyday…

Wolf breathes out his cigarette smoke, "Ah, the sweet taste of tar."
Spider was in a bad mood, "It only tastes good to you because you didn't need to pay! Wolf, I can't BELIEVE you took the secret passage on me! And I got stuck paying!" We all did our guy laugh and in-took more smoke.
But to tell you guys the truth, I don't like smoking. I wouldn't even be smoking right now, because after I got Spider and Wolf addicted, I slowly lost my craving for them. However, I turned them into who they are, I can't stop or they'll call me a hypocrite. And also for the record, fighting is NOT to my liking. Still, it's done out of pressure. I also used to be very buff and healthy, but because of my dislike of cigarettes; I throw up every night and nearly lose a pound daily because of it, and that includes muscle weight too.
Wolf saw my face losing its tan color, "You ok big bro?"
I smiled and lied, "I'm fine Wolf." Actually, I was an inch from puking my guts out. No, not here, not now!
I stood up, "Bathroom, be back."
Spider stood, "Wait, Rydel!"
But I was already on my way; running at forty miles per hour to the drug store bathroom. I ran in and shut the door, but didn't lock it. I did what I always do when I throw up. I buckle my knees and kneel next to the toilet, I remove and extra shirts until I have only one layer; and finally, I press on my stomach and let it all flood out my mouth. Whenever this happens, I get memories of my past…

When I was almost 3 years old, while mom expecting Spider, she, Dad and I had a talk.
Dad told me, "You're an amazing boy Rydel, but remember this: don't ever resort to smoking or fighting for the answers. I did a lot in my youth, and I nearly died alone. If your mother and I weren't close, I probably would have. Promise me Rydel. Promise me you'll be a good and moral big brother."
I was very obedient then, "Yes I will Daddy! I'll make you a proud father!" I'm very mad that I broke that promise…


I remember little Karin's face, my deceased six and a half year old sister, she would be eleven years old if she was alive today. And baby sister Marilyn…who would nearly be five today. If I could only see them again…Wolf (barely nine at the time), Spider (ten years old) and I (thirteen years old) were left at home while Dad and Karin went with Mom to go give birth to Marilyn. Well, she had a name even before she was born. I had no idea that they'd never come home…
Almost two hours after they left, I got a call from Dad, "Ry-Rydel…we're on…the 5th mile from…the hospital…get help…" Then the line died. I was shocked; I gathered my brothers and jumped on Dad's motorcycle and we all put on helmets and protective pads. I knew how Dad worked the motorcycle, so we drove off to the 5th mile. In a few minutes we were there, with a few detours. There was an ambulance and our crashed car, with some other people…and our family…injured and bleeding to death.
We all ran to Karin first, she was my favorite sibling and kind sister. She was on a stretcher like everyone else. Wolf cried and cried, so did Spider…but I just couldn't…I was too shocked.
A doctor told me, "It's too late boys…we did everything we could to stop the bleeding…but she's gone." I swear that my heart nearly stopped…Karin dead? I couldn't imagine life without her. Then I ran to Dad, he was dying.
Dad raised his hand to touch my face, "Rydel…take care…of your brothers…mom…and…Marilyn…I'm so…proud of you…" With that, his hand dropped and he was dead too. I was even more in shock; this was Dad, the invincible wrestler and a great role model…dead? I ran to Mom, the only one still alive…but with fatal burns and internal bleeding.
We run to her, "Rydel…Sid…Wallace…Marilyn's coming…" I'm scared to death…will Mom and Marilyn make it?

Since Dad's not there in the Maternity lounge, I told Spider and Wolf to stay there while I stayed with Mom. She was screaming and clenching my hand as hard as she possibly could. I closed my eyes and waited…until I heard Marilyn. I was happy, and I got to hold her first. But when I held Marilyn, her feet were numb…she had no use of her legs. I turned to Mom, but the doctor pulled a sheet over Mom's head. Mom was gone too…after that, I became head of the house…

Back in the bathroom, I stop throwing up and flush the toilet. I sit comfortably and think…have I taken good care of Marilyn? I dressed her in Karin's old clothes, gave her baths and treat her like I did Karin…after all, she couldn't feel her legs. But she also passed away…have I been a good guardian? To all my siblings? As I'm thinking, I feel water on my face…tears? Am I crying? I haven't done that since before Mom, Dad and Karin died…and here I am…I feel so mad now…it must be my fault Mom, Dad and Karin died…
I hear footsteps, I turn and I realize I didn't shut the door; Wolf is standing next to me, "Big bro? Are you okay?" By then I'm in too much shock to speak. I end up wailing and sobbing into my hands. Spider comes into the bathroom and lets me cry on him.
They asked, "Rydel? Have you had enough fighting? Enough smoking?" I nod softly, not knowing if they agree or not.
Wolf hugs me, "Us too…we also knew you were getting sick; we were too. Now, let's visit everyone."

Together, the three of us brothers go to the cemetery where our four family members are located. We sit next to the graves and talk as if they can here us…
Wolf told Karin, "I miss braiding your hair…playing dolls with you…if only you were still here…"
Spider talks to Mom, "I miss your home-made dumplings, stew, and meatloaf…"
I just think…finally, I say, "Everyone…I'm sorry that I couldn't be a great son before…but now, we're going to change. We'll stop smoking, stop fighting and we'll become good citizens. We'll help the disabled and we'll pass high-school! We'll make you proud of us!"

Now here I am, two years from when I had quit my bad habits and made my vows. I'm in one of the best universities in the world. Besides me are my brothers, no longer Spider and Wolf, but they are Sid and Wallace. We are on a large stage with other great classmates, in tuxedos and under hot lights in front of the whole graduating class.
The principal gave his speech and ended by saying, "…and let's hear it for the valedictorian of the class, Rydel Park!"
I stand and walk to the podium, "To all my fellow students, elders and youth…" I gave my long and boring speech about how we needed to shape our destinies through ourselves. I called Sid and Wallace up with me. The last part of our speech was, "We only have one life to live. We need to spend everyday like it's our last and we can't waste it. We wasted our life until two years ago. Then we realized that if we don't spend everyday with our important friends and family, life is a waste. We may move on, but memories of ourselves and others will never fade…"

End